I'm at mile 21 (isn't that supposed to be the
hardest one?) only 5 more to go... I'm pressing forward, straining toward the goal... of
surviving and thriving for a year in Kenya. I feel pressed on all sides right now, but I'm
not budging. My administrative workload is piling up. Since I returned from Oloitokitok
two and half weeks ago I jumped into more proposal review, getting all 150 sponsorship
updates ready to be mailed, organizing work projects for the UPC team that comes in next
week, planning for the UPC deputation team that comes in early June, and finally, my most
important and time consuming task is finishing up this year of work as the Child
Sponsorship Coordinator and passing the baton to my beloved heir, Peter Escher, who
assumes this position two weeks after I leave. I want him to get a running start as I meet
with him in Seattle prior to his departure and I pray that he can just keep running, not
having to look behind and figure out what the heck I've been doing all year. The task of
recording every important decision that has been made in terms of policies and procedures
for Sponsorship is not easy, but I know that it will really benefit the kids, this
ministry and ultimately our Lord in the end. So the "Sponsorship Manual" is in
its forming stages.In my last update, I was in the middle of an adventure in
Oloitokitok (LTK). That adventure continued for more than a week after I wrote that
update. Wow, did stories abound from that trip. I think that most of you know that LTK is
a very small, Masai village, tucked away at the base of Mt. Kilimanjaro. A picturesque
location, but with less beautiful chores that go along with making that place livable.
Since it is so rural, most amenities aren't available, other than the real basics. The
basics of life in Kenya are much different from the basics of life in the USA. That's
fine, I've learned how to live without many things this year.
But the one thing that I've learned makes life livable and is essential for every being
is the most pure drinking element... water. Point blank, LTK has a problem with water. The
Kenyan drought of 2000 seems to have disappeared, even in LTK, but the problem with water
persists. It's hard to tell if the problem stems from corruption or if the recession of
snow atop Mt. Kilimanjaro over the last several years is slowly taking its toll on the
accessibility of water. In any case, the water does not flow through the taps at our
compound more than once a week. I think the word "flow" may be too literal, it
actually trickles and for an hour or two tops. It often seems like a mean trick.
A Dutch volunteer, Willie and I decided to make a visit to the water department because
we heard that our neighbors receive water consistently without a problem. After finding
the guy in charge (that was a feat in itself), he pondered over our water billing record
and responded "Hmmm. This is strange, your meter has stopped for no reason."
Okay, sure buddy, we've heard this before. Its so frustrating that he acted like he had no
idea when he has been notified time and time again. "We'll turn it on in the
morning", he replied. That was a huge answer to prayer. Willie and I had prayed that
God would be over and around our conversation and situation as we visited the department.
By God's grace, that we received water two days and for 6 hours at once. Although the
pressure was still really low, God still filled up most of our containers. The compound
was scrubbed down, girls bathed and there was enough drinking water for all. And I even
got to take a sponge bath! It was really appropriate that I was reviewing a grant proposal
for a bore hole that week. I had lots of incentive to get it done!
This last month I have been really frustrated with my inability to help the poor. I
have been reminded that it's not "me" that can help them, it's God, but still he
calls us to serve the poor, but now that I've been doing that as my vocation for a year, I
still feel so far from perfect in my service. Case in point, on our way to the water
department that week, we ran into some really small children. By now I think you realize
that a white person "muzungu" is quite a commodity, especially in LTK.
Children are especially blatant with their bewilderment and fascination with white
people and usually exert themselves with the bubbling greeting. "howooryou,
howooryou, howooryou, muzungu. muzungu" Out of nowhere, as if they knew we were
coming, running toward Willie and me bounded two boys, one who looked 4 dragged his 2 year
old brother. Clad with mud, and half naked, the kids abruptly stopped and waited directly
above us on a ledge with grins brimming ear to ear. Only a ditch separated us. Their
excitement and desire drew us to them. We couldn't help but take a running jump over the
ditch, fall into the bank and scramble up the hill to return their enthusiasm. The way
that they wanted to be near us and see us, exemplifies the way that I want to run after
Jesus. With bewilderment and fascination I long to seek after Him. It seemed as if they
expected us to come, as if they were waiting for us. I believe that God wants us to expect
His coming, His coming into our lives, His presence in our work, our family, our emotions,
our future.
After meeting the children we wanted to meet their parents. Unfortunately the mother
and father seemed to be gone, leaving their small children to fend for themselves. This is
common for the poor because if both parents need to work, do chores outside of the house
(like carry wood from the forest or water from the well), there is no one to take care of
the kids and hiring a babysitter is unheard of. We were drawn to this family though, so
two days later upon our return from the water department, we returned and found both
parents home. Their house was one room, a goat yelped in the back and a chicken raced
around between a plethora of children. But they welcomed us with open arms. They invited
us in and made us feel honored and accepted as we sat on a small bench trying desperately
to communicate to them, but the language barrier deepened as I realized that they spoke
only Masai, not even Swahili (which I'm still an amateur at).
Their neighbor came over, at first, in shock that there were white people in his
neighborhood, but soon fear overcame him as he thought we were from the press and trying
to exploit the poor. Pictures for Africans are precious and it seems as though everyone
longs to have a picture of himself. Since I had my camera with me, I offered to take a
picture of the kids and the family, they openly accepted. The neighbor began getting
angry, telling us we shouldn't be talking to the family and we need a permission letter
form the government to enter the land. The father of the family understood what was
happening and assured us that we were fine.
I left LTK soon after this visit, but Willie continues to visit them each week and has
brought them food on many occasions. It's so hard to serve the poor when you know that
what you can do is only temporary. The bread that we give is temporary, the love we have
to offer is temporary, but Jesus is forever. I am praying that these children will know
Jesus, that they will run after Him like they ran after us. That they would invite Him
into their house with the same regard and hunger as we met.
I've been selling God short. I continue failing to realize that when I say, "Lord,
reveal yourself," it is not He who is without revelation. It is me who is not looking
for Him. I am looking in the wrong places. I fail to give the Lord the benefit of His Holy
Spirit in my life. A few days ago, I was reading My Utmost For His Highest and God spoke
to me through a passage. Oswald Chambers writes,
We have no reluctance to obey Jesus, but it is highly probable that we are hurting
Him by what we ask "Lord show us the Father
" (John 14:8). His
response immediately comes back to us as He says, "Can't you see Him? He is always
right here or he is nowhere to be found." We look for God to exhibit Himself to His
children, but God exhibits Himself in His children. And while others see the evidence, the
child of God does not. We want to be fully aware of what God is doing in us, but we cannot
have complete awareness and expect to remain reasonable or balanced in our expectations of
Him. If all we are asking God to give us is experiences, and the awareness of those
experiences is blocking our way, we hurt the Lord. The very questions we ask hurt Jesus,
because they are not the questions of a child.
As His child, I must realize that His power is in me. That His supernatural power is
usually exhibited through those who love Him. I must hold onto this as I prepare to make a
HUGE transition back to my home in Seattle. I am preparing to face some tough times in my
life as I look for a job, resettle into a very different culture, and reacquaint myself
with relationships that I left behind. When I want to ask, "God where are you."
I pray that I am shaken with the knowledge I have that He is nestled within every cell of
my body.
This year I have been a "missionary," but honestly I have not felt any
different than I did when I was living in Seattle. I have had a different lifestyle,
different social group, different climate and job than I've ever had, but being a
missionary does not automatically transform a person into someone super-spiritual or
super-chosen by God. We are all missionaries wherever we are. We are called to be His
hands and feet and to carry his Good News. A verse that spoke to both Mark and me this
week is from Ecclesiastes 9:10 and it says, "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it
with all your might
" I want to encourage all of you, if you have been at all
inspired by the stories I've told you, the thoughts I've shared or the pictures you've
seen... go out and do your work with fervor. Whatever it is that God has given you to do,
wherever He's given you do it, pour your life into it with wholehearted devotion.
Wholehearted devotion. Your love for God and His people is known by your love and
devotion.
Since this is my last month of service in Kenya (I arrive in Seattle on May 19th at
3:15, BA flight 049). Anyone is welcome. I wanted to sincerely thank all of the people who
have contributed to my service this year. Through donations of goods, prayers, and
finances that have kept me eating and well. For those of you who are my monthly
supporters, May is your last month then I become "independent"... so
thank you for your faithful support. And for all of you who pray for me regularly... you
don't have to stop that :-)
On that note, I really need prayer as I finish up these last three weeks.
For
strength to finish the work I have left, with wholehearted devotion.
For a
good trip for the UPC team, that their projects would run smoothly and that they would see
God in the children.
Preparation for saying goodbye. Pray that both the kids and I would be comforted and
thankful for the time we've had.
For a
smooth transition out of my position. That God would prepare a place for me to work in
Seattle.
I cannot wait to see you all! Before you hear from me next (I will do one more
"Tales" after I return), I will be home. I have been graciously given a place to
live this summer by my friends, the Ackers. I will live at their house until I get married
in September. God has been so good to me. You can continue to email me at this address
until I notify you of a new one in May. I have to say, that some of the best emails I get
are in response to my monthly updates... PLEASE WRITE ME... even if it's just to be in
good standing so that when I get home you can say that you did write me :-)
With Love,
Sarah Jamieson
Child Sponsorship Coordinator,
Homeless Children International-Kenya
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